How to Knit Socks (or Not)

I’m on a mission.  A mission to knit socks that fit.  Me.

I have knit socks.  Lots of socks.  I’ve even knit socks that were samples for a book.

But I have freakishly small feet.  The kind of feet that have shoe salespeople laughing hysterically when I ask if they have shoes in my size.  And giving me lines like, “Don’t you know it’s not small black shoe buying season?”…  (Really?  There’s a SEASON for black shoes?)

I have never successfully knit a pair of socks that fit.  But since we’re going to be vendors at Sock Summit this summer, I thought it would be a good idea to finally slay this sock-dragon once and for all.

(And no, going down a needle size…or 3…has not worked so far.  Needles smaller than 2 mm needles hurt my hands, so I’m determined to figure this out using tools that I’m comfortable with)

I’ve started with the Staked socks Glenna C designed for the October 2010 Smart-Ass Knitters package.  Last night in fact.  Here’s a snapshot of my progress:

1) Knit gauge swatch IN THE ROUND.  (Can you tell I’ve been bitten in the butt by this gauge routine before?)

2) Gauge success!  Awesome.  Moving on.  Cast on.

3) Correct number of stitches achieved.  Go me!

4) Join.  Look at that!  No twist!  Really, nothing can stop me.

5) Glance at pattern and quickly memorize the ribbing pattern.  Well, that’s a heck of a lot of writing for a pretty simple 3 stitch repeat.  OK then.  Memorized.  Off I go.

6) Knit 12 rows of ribbing on teeny tiny needles.  Great.  Ribbing done!  FUN PART AHEAD.

7) Follow chart.  Yep…going well.  Eighteen stitches into the first row.  Nineteen.  Twenty….um….this is weird.  Go back.  Count.  Yep, counting skills are intact (this is an issue more than you’d think).  So….um…..what’s hap…oh wait…what’s that weird patterning thing happening in the charted ribbing row….um….

8) Crap.

9) Rip. La lala lala…

10) Start designing the “you hire clever designers because they are smart and know what they are doing…do not go rogue on their designs” tattoo for my forearm.

Yep.  So far, so good.


  1. When you figure out the socks, my cousin wears a womens 2 shoe, and I would rather knit socks for her instead of my son’s 15’s

  2. Let me know when you have finished the design…I know a great tattoo artist and she’s a fiber junkie too!

  3. When you get that tattoo designed, you should share it. There are many, many of us who need the same one! Hope you have no more problems with these!

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